Just cropdusted the office
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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