i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Randomize
