"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
