I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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