i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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