fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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