This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
