do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
