called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
