real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
