All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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