I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize