he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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