Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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