he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize