you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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