If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Help me help you realize you are a moron
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
