this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
