Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
