My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
