I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
