I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
