So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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