so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
