He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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