worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
