If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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