talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
