She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You are a genius and a whore.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
