The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
