Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
