all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
