would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
