Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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