I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
