Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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