Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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