hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
