There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
