A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
