well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
