Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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