oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
