Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
