You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
