I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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