They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I think your dad took our porno
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
