Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
