Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
