grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
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