And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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