it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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