I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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