Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
