You just made me feel so damn special
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
