I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
