is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
