Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
