It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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