We're facebook friends in real life
Plan B is the new Plan A
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
