I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
