to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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