Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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