I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
