He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
