I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
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